a glimpse of my summer...

so i've been laying in bed for a few hours trying to fall asleep doing all the usual things that usually work to put me to sleep none of them working. so now i'm uploading pics to walmart listening to music and realized i haven't blogged for what seems like ages so here i am..its july 27. ahh! summer has flown by and i feel like i haven't captured all the moments i wanted to with the complete fullness i should have but i love everything i have. the summer started with arriving back in my hometown. little ole argyle wi population of 823. hmm i have missed this little town. its just so quiet and peaceful. within just a few hundred feet from my house you can look out and see the rolling hills of wisconsin! and minutes you will be out in the middle of a road with corn feilds and pastures full of dairy cows staring you in the face with the smell of grass and manure watching a tractor bailing hay on a far ridge of the hill. as you drive down and around the curvy country roads you have to becareful not to hit any deer, racoons, and oppossums along with a rare occasion of fox, cows, and dogs ha. there may only be one 'main' intercetion in town but it has everything you need and its my home::


well most of my summer has been filled with children. i babysit for my highschool volleyball coach's kids they are so cute and precious! they are currently 9month old, just turned 6year old(as of yesterday!!), and a 7year old. they are a hoot, between making sure baby gabrielle doesnt eat anything harmful or falling off of something and keeping the older two from hurting each other too much they keep me on my toes. lots of laughter and giggles from the kids. i love the sound of laughter and the innocense of children. it has been nice watching them because its made me look at the simple things in life again. the beauty of just being completely and totally me, without any strings attached:..
along with being home and watching kids i've also spent quite a few nights at my home away from home. the unbridled faith farm! i am very close with the owners, they are like my second family. i've had a lot of long talks with elaine and spent a few nights with my ethan and laughed much with roy. its so good to beable to go out to the farm look out and just pray and seek god in the middle of his creation.. they are wonderful people and god is about to do something incredable in their lives i'm so excited to be apart of it!

http://www.unbridledfaith.com/

coming home to my old friends is another highlight of the summer. i missed them so much and so much has happened since i left that we had some fun nights hanging out and just catching up and spending good quality time with them. its hard to think i only have 3weeks left with them! just one summer is not enough time to see them and talk to them and find out whats happening in their lives! but i enjoyed every second of laughs hugs and time i spent with them! i love you guys so much!!


last but not least my family and my home! it was a little weird at first coming home to our big white house that was empty! well seemed empty with most of my stuff packed away and melissa and jeremy's rooms turned into a play room for the daycare mom has and a comptur/office room. yeah these things were like that for christmas but still home had changed and i wasn't a part of it. hard to grasp for a week but i've learned to change with it thats what change is all about, learning to go with the flow fitting into the new mold. ahh. it feels like summer just started and the end is just as close...

. . butterflies . .

this has been something i've been thinking about for quite a long while now.. i'm not sure why but i've always been drawn to butterflies. they are beautiful. they can fly. they are free. there is just something that captures a part of my heart when one flutters through my gaze.. hmm i wish i had words to describe what comes over me. lets just say its like a peice of my heart floating through the air for the whole world to see...
so as i have been pondering butterflies and what is so special about them God is begining to reveal something to me in a perspective i haven't looked through before (i love when he does that to me hmmm) so butterflies have 4 different stages of life. being birthed the egg. caterpillar stage. cacoon stage. and then comes the butterfly. i've been realizing how much my life is like a butterfly's different stages that it has to go through. but i don't think all these transformations just happen once in our lives. i think at different times during your life you achieve the butterfly stage but then you start over to be birthed into something new. so many examples come to mind.
as a baby when your trying to explore new things and learning different things and by the end of it you finally take your first steps and you being to "fly" riding your bike. how many times had you tried and tried and after much transformation you finally learn to ride it. a friendship could be considered to go through the same process. your highschool years. and now 24.7 is the stage of life i'm in right now. i'm still trying to figure out which stage i'm at exactly. i feel like i could be beinging to come out of my shell and hatch into a caterpillar. i know the cacoon and wings still need to grow but i'm ok with the stage of life i'm in right now as long as i keep growing and keep learning. slowly and surely as a caterpillar scooches along i will do the same things. as much as i want to jump and start to fly right now i know i wouldn't be ready for that stage yet. God has me right where he wants me for this part of my life. and i know as soon as i transform into this butterfly a new stage of life will come at me and i'll have to learn all over again but i will do this for as long as i live. start new things and let God transform me into the beautiful creation he intended me to be. and each time i'll gain more of his compasion and love and knowledge and wisdom and all he has for me. i am a butterfly of God and i will follow wherever he may lead me.
well that is what God has taught me through butterflies. something that captures my heart and makes me think of so many things i've gone through and so much to come.

. . butterflies . .

. . .relationships. . .

why is it that so many many of my relationships are lovehate relationships? i could raddle of so many names right now. is that good or bad? hmm i'm trying to figure it out. but the thing is i really love these people so much like how do i express how much i love them? i love them as much as a fat kid loves cake or a dog loves chasing a ball or these are really bad examples. ok how much i love LEMONADE! i love them so much more than all those things. i would do anything for them, i would go anywhere with them, i would take an axe through a mountain for them if i needed to, i would die for them so that they could live. because my life without them would be so less flavorful. they add joy to my life, they are the spices and the sugar, they bring the best and worse out in me all at the same time it seems. but the crazy thing is they still love me back. but the same is true on the flip side of all this. i have seen them at their best and their worst but i still love them the same. i have gained so many new friends this year that i will miss so much this summer. But then i am so excited to go home to my old friends. some are home some don't live there anymore but all the same i love them. i only wish i could have my own town. a town that every person i love so much would live there. that is my one selfish desire that i have at the moment. that this summer would be full of me spending time good quality time with each person i love so much! my heart is about to jump out of my chest its beating to fast in excitement for that thought. and here is where i tell it to settle down it won't happen this summer but keep believing one day you will, you will do life with all these people that God has so specifically placed in your life. so to all of my friends i love you, if i show hate sometimes its because you know me better than i know myself sometimes and i'm mad that you knew before me :p you are incredible no matter what corner of the world you may live i am with you in spirit.

all squished into one..

wow. i've had so much going on in my life the last 2months i didn't have time to write it all out so i'm going to squish it all together. AFRICA.ARC.VACATION.ECO. hmm AFICA has it really been 2weeks since we got back? ughh i miss africa so much. my heart has been there for 2years. as soon as my team arrived at the first pastors house i felt a peace overwhelm me. God moved through me in a completely different way than he has before. but then again he's been doing that all year. i met so many wonderful, passionate, loving people while we were there. they made me want to strive to be someone different, someone stronger than who i am, someone that could do what they do on a daily basis. watching the mama's cook over an open fire and care for an entire household and still have faith to support her husband doing ministry. that is a strong courageous woman of God, that is the woman i am striving to become. oh there is so much more if only i had time to share it all.. ARC. so exciting to come together and meet new people that have the same passion for serving our King! our generation is going to do so much for Gods Kingdom i can hardly wait to see what happens. getting to see old friends was also an increditable experience even if it was only for a short while.. VACATION. well i'd say relaxing, a time set aside specifically for me to sit down and think about what has been going on in my life. a time to think. regroup. continue to learn new things even if it is vacation.. ahh and ECO i'm really not sure how to describe it besides challenge. the whole two days i had prayed for God to lead me and to take control and let me tell you his spirit lead me the whole way.. i wish i could put into words how i feel or what i'm thinking about right now but also about everything that has happend these last few weeks especially. this year is coming to a rapid hault which sadden and excites me at the same time. all i can say is Lord continue to lead me...

rocking chair surfer.. to ..world traveler

2 days ago i got a text from my dad it almost made me cry. sometimes i'm such a daddy's girl its not even funny but heres what it said. "its almost hard to believe standing on a rocking chair being 19 a world traveler, God will continue to bless you love you" now let me explain when i was a little girl i don't know maybe 1 or 2 something like that i would climb up on moms wicker rocking chair with little like toothpick arm rests and try to stand and surf on them. i don't remember any of this but i can totally imagine doing that, i've heard stories of me doing stuff like that i think there was something about a window one time ha. memories. well i had completely forgotten about that until the text. it made me think about where i've come from what i've had to go through to get to where i am today. and as i look back i can see God's finger prints all over my life in every area. thank you God for getting me here and placing the people in my life that you did and thank you for the family that has raised me.

today i just want to spend all day ful of thankfulness. thankful for the past for today for the future for this moment. thankful for everything!!!
:so the rocking chair surfer is out to the ocean for the day maybe to surf some waves: ha. . . :)

blink and you'll miss it!

wow. this whole week i have been running around learning dances painting walls shopping in the travel section opening new bought items stuffing my entire life into a bag that will hopefully last me a month and now i'm sitting here on my bed my head pounding with probably a zillion other things to do before i leave and yet here i am spilling my thoughts. i've been waiting for this time to come for two years! its arriving way faster than i could have ever imagined. i can see my self sitting at home (in wisconsin) looking at applications to go to africa seeing pictures of little african children looking at me from the other side hoping for someone to come rescue them.and yet i never followed through. i continued on living as if there weren't small children needing love and affection, i continued on my warped life of a christian and then i BLINKED and here i am typing on my computer about to head to africa in a day or two. i can't believe it. its happening! I failed at the first time when God had called me, but i am willing and ready to jump on that plane, even as terrified as i am to go i can't imagine what my life would be like without this experience about to happen. thank you God for second chances and thank you for opening my eyes. I know God is going to do increditable things as 24/7 goes to africa because we all have one passion and one goal. to be the hands and feet of GOD and to see his KINGDOM GROW! be praying for us but most importantly be praying for the lives that will be changed! i love you all and will miss you :)

where has the time gone?

i feel like i just moved to arkansas yesterday and then again i feel like orientation was decades ago.. there has been so much that i have done this year, so much i've learned, so much just stuff has happened. new stories, new friends, new home, new car, new everything it seems. i have so much going through my mind i'm not sure how to make sense of it all. i don't want this year to be over so soon, but then again i feel like its been years since mexico and that was only a month and a half ago. just so much has come and gone i want more at the same time. god has revealed himself to me in ways i wish i could tell about but its those intimate times with him that i long for every day more and more, i wish they would never leave me. and thats what i keep learning how to have those intimate times with god everyday, every hour, every thought being consumed by him. that my friends is my goal. to fall in love with my creator everyday more than the day before.

sorry for the randomness of this message just wanted to explain a glimpse of my thoughts at the moment.
xoxo:)

distractions are everywhere..

as i am laying here studying for scripture memory i look up as i recite part of the scripture and see a picture of my grandma. i completely stop saying the scripture and start to think about memories i have with her, the last time i saw her, things that she accomplished in her life, it then triggers a thought about mexico what kind of dash did she leave? can you see how easily you can loose focus on what you are doing? this happens to me alot. people may ask monica what are you thinking about. my reply is well i'm at a loss for words most of the time because i start thinking about one thing and i get on rabbit trails that lead me down a path that opens up a whole new can of worms. i think this happens to alot of people. you will be doing work or focusing on something and you'll see a word, or a picture, hear a sound, or possibly even smell something and your mind now wanders and pulls up memories from that experience with what you just got distracted by. is that true? does anyone else have that problem? i find it happening to me all the time. the problem with this is, if i want to be used in the kingdom and be a strong leader someday i can't be getting lost in my thoughts while trying to do something important. i mean what kind of message would that bring?
i'm not sure this is just something i've been learning about and hopefully one day figure out.

constant reminders...

where do i even start!?
today has been a crazy long beautiful day.
the day started nice and early at 5am where i quickly got ready for the day packing my lunch and clothes and running out the door to go to the church to serve some good ole consequence time where i scrubbed toilets and bathroom stalls for an hour (feeling pretty good so far not to tired but still a little draggy) next i head to my car to drive to hendrix to work out. as i'm driving i see a mostly clear sky with the sun just beginning to peek its head over the horizon to greet me on my drive. what a beautiful picture god painted for me to see this morning because he knew that i would need that reminder of his love and amazing power for the rest of the day. during workout i enjoyed some good ole basketball had a rough time scoring any points but was reminded of the good and bad time i had while in highschool the highs and lows of that situation. god reminding me that he works all things out for his glory no matter how long it takes. (feeling ok not to worried about anything just going through another day) but here comes a curve ball next. as i'm driving to the church i'm behind a dumptruck. well all the sudden the truck starts breaking and before i know it, it has come to a complete start and the reverse lights come on in the middle of the street no trash cans around to empty. well he just keeps backing up and i try to reverse before he hits me but then i hear the sound of a huge truck smooshing my baby car. the damage wasn't nearly as bad as it sounded but i was nervous none the less. another reminder to keep the joy in my heart and not letting all these things pull me down. i wait for over an hour for that to get cleared up and as soon as we get to the church we jump in the vans and head to silvinhills highschool to do ministry. trying to get outside my comfort zone and talk to highschool students is something that streches me more than i can imagine. most of these kids i probably couldn't relate to at all. i couldn't tell you how many kids i saw, but i knew each one needed what i had i just didn't know how to give it to them. another reminder to trust no matter what happens. we get done with that and get home and are told we don't have the night off but we have to go get in formal dress and meet at the church at seven thirty. and here is the most beautiful part of my day. the men of 247 put together a dinner and entertainment for us for valentines day. (side note: all sugar/sweets free) they served us and provided humorous and searious entertainment. through it all i could hear god reminding me how precious i am to him and how much he has planned for me. all i have to do is trust and release control. be anxious for nothing and to not worry about tomorrow or any part of the future. leave it all in his hands. be reminded daily of the gift god has given you.

here are a few pictures from the dinner...

Soaring in the sky

so have you ever just been outside and looking up in the sky and see a bird soaring? i was going on my run yesterday and i saw a hawk just floating and going with the wind. not once flapping it's wings just being completely lifted by the air. i got to thinking about this and it made me realize that's exactly what god wants us to do. just jump out of the nest we grew up in and let him keep us flying he will give us exactly what we need. he will direct the wind to take us where he wants us to go. if we want to go one way and its not what god wants he can just change the wind and take you where you want. you just have to remember that god will hold us up, we don't have to be the ones flapping our wings. god has control, if you'll let him. so be willing to be tossed and turned in the wind and let god have control of your life, he'll take you exactly where he wants you to go.

xoxo =] love

the experience of a lifetime...

Mexico is incredible. people places and things i saw these last three weeks keep flashing through my brain. i'm not even able to express how much i enjoyed mexico and the things i learned. being in a different team is the first adjustment you have to make, new people, new personalities you have to mesh with, new jokes, everything seems different, but you learn to connect with one another if you don't you have the longest three weeks of your life. now i'm trying to decide if i want to explain the trip every second of everyday or just tell you the big things god has shown me throughout the last three weeks. and considering its almost 11 and i still have to memorize scripture memory i'll go with the second. the two main things i learned while in mexico were -one i have no control over my life i'm one hundred percent god's! -two i am not the one who determines if my life is great or not.
now to explain... i've been going back and forth with god for the last how many years just asking him to tell me where he wants me to go and what he wants me to do. i don't care what or where i just want to know so i can prepare myself for whatever he has planned for me. but throughout this trip i could really see how god doesn't want exceptions he just wants the willing no strings attached. i don't know if that makes sense to you but to me it's becoming clearer and clearer everyday! i don't need to know where or what i'll be doing because god will prepare me the way he wants when he wants i'm clay and he's the potter let him create his master piece.
as for the second thing god showed me its simple really. god determines if your life is great or not i can't. i used to think my little town was nothing special there is nothing GREAT going on there,, well not in my eyes, but to god he has called every single pastor and family in my home church for a reason he has a GREAT calling there i just never saw it that way before. just like every small little church in the mountains in the middle of nowhere mexico has a purpose and a GREAT calling on it. maybe i'm making sense maybe i'm not but either way god has reveal a ton to me in just three weeks. so in a nutshell god is awesome and i'm just human. so hopefully this shows you a glimpse of my heart from the past three weeks there is so much more to be shared.

much love moni
here's a few pics from the trip -

three weeks and it feels like christmas was yesterday

Where do i even begin? i've felt so overwhelmed and rushed lately that i don't know what has even happened to me in the past three weeks. lets start with break... friday the 19th of december we had our 24/7 christmas banquet, which as loads of fun all the girls looks dazziling and the guys sharp as can be. when i got home from that i packed up my room getting ready for the re-serfacing the floors in our house. i left for wisconsin at 6am on saturday morning let me just say that drive was intense at the beginning me and melissa were both falling asleep basically while we were driving so we had to switch a little sooner than usual. then we had to check oil, good thing we did cause we were almost out and i guess that's like a bad thing or something.. at one point while i was a sleep it starting raining at as we got closer to home it started to snow!!! i was so excited to see snow, it just felt so good to be home again. and of course we get to about 10minutes away from my house and we go in the ditch, lets just say never a dull moment in my life. the rest of the break was pretty chill i tried to play in the snow as much as i could but it was pretty cold alot, i just hung out at home alot helped babysit cute babies and visit with friends that i hate being away from so bad.

anyways. as those two weeks flew by, i enjoyed them so much and hated them at the same time, that doesn't even make sense, but to me its completely clear. i loved being home and relaxing but at the same time i felt worthless not doing anything and just trying to not fall into old habits but as you're home its so difficult unless you're completely disciplined to god and his call on you're life. and so going from being trapped in old habits and coming back into the atmosphere of 24/7 it was a huge struggle for me. especially since i was so nervous and overwhelmed with the week of getting ready to go to mexico.

mexico is just around the corner. we leave on monday! im so excited about what God has been revealing to me now that its making it very difficult for me to wait to see what he will teach me in mexico. this whole week i've been hearing him tell me complete abandonment and holding nothing back, give it everything you got. yesterday during chapel i started reading ephesians 4 -here's what it says...
"as a prisoner for the Lord, then, i urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have recieved. be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. there is one body and one Spirit- just as you were called to one hope when you were called- one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. but to each of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it..."
..God is so awesome in his timing. i've been dealing with alot of mixed emotions excited one moment and the next scared out of my mind. but he works all things out for his glory. as a team we discussed how we wanted to be lead by the spirit, no matter what the cost we would go and do what the lord has told us to. we also said unity in the spirit being one with one another showing love and patience in every situation. this scripture talks about all those things! i am so excited to see what God will do in each and every one of our lives while we are in mexico expanding his kingdom in every possible way we can!
please be praying for me and my team as well as all of 24/7 god has a plan that none of us can even imagine right now.
i love you! i am unable to wait to talk to you all when i get back!! xoxo-