where has the time gone?

i feel like i just moved to arkansas yesterday and then again i feel like orientation was decades ago.. there has been so much that i have done this year, so much i've learned, so much just stuff has happened. new stories, new friends, new home, new car, new everything it seems. i have so much going through my mind i'm not sure how to make sense of it all. i don't want this year to be over so soon, but then again i feel like its been years since mexico and that was only a month and a half ago. just so much has come and gone i want more at the same time. god has revealed himself to me in ways i wish i could tell about but its those intimate times with him that i long for every day more and more, i wish they would never leave me. and thats what i keep learning how to have those intimate times with god everyday, every hour, every thought being consumed by him. that my friends is my goal. to fall in love with my creator everyday more than the day before.

sorry for the randomness of this message just wanted to explain a glimpse of my thoughts at the moment.
xoxo:)

distractions are everywhere..

as i am laying here studying for scripture memory i look up as i recite part of the scripture and see a picture of my grandma. i completely stop saying the scripture and start to think about memories i have with her, the last time i saw her, things that she accomplished in her life, it then triggers a thought about mexico what kind of dash did she leave? can you see how easily you can loose focus on what you are doing? this happens to me alot. people may ask monica what are you thinking about. my reply is well i'm at a loss for words most of the time because i start thinking about one thing and i get on rabbit trails that lead me down a path that opens up a whole new can of worms. i think this happens to alot of people. you will be doing work or focusing on something and you'll see a word, or a picture, hear a sound, or possibly even smell something and your mind now wanders and pulls up memories from that experience with what you just got distracted by. is that true? does anyone else have that problem? i find it happening to me all the time. the problem with this is, if i want to be used in the kingdom and be a strong leader someday i can't be getting lost in my thoughts while trying to do something important. i mean what kind of message would that bring?
i'm not sure this is just something i've been learning about and hopefully one day figure out.

constant reminders...

where do i even start!?
today has been a crazy long beautiful day.
the day started nice and early at 5am where i quickly got ready for the day packing my lunch and clothes and running out the door to go to the church to serve some good ole consequence time where i scrubbed toilets and bathroom stalls for an hour (feeling pretty good so far not to tired but still a little draggy) next i head to my car to drive to hendrix to work out. as i'm driving i see a mostly clear sky with the sun just beginning to peek its head over the horizon to greet me on my drive. what a beautiful picture god painted for me to see this morning because he knew that i would need that reminder of his love and amazing power for the rest of the day. during workout i enjoyed some good ole basketball had a rough time scoring any points but was reminded of the good and bad time i had while in highschool the highs and lows of that situation. god reminding me that he works all things out for his glory no matter how long it takes. (feeling ok not to worried about anything just going through another day) but here comes a curve ball next. as i'm driving to the church i'm behind a dumptruck. well all the sudden the truck starts breaking and before i know it, it has come to a complete start and the reverse lights come on in the middle of the street no trash cans around to empty. well he just keeps backing up and i try to reverse before he hits me but then i hear the sound of a huge truck smooshing my baby car. the damage wasn't nearly as bad as it sounded but i was nervous none the less. another reminder to keep the joy in my heart and not letting all these things pull me down. i wait for over an hour for that to get cleared up and as soon as we get to the church we jump in the vans and head to silvinhills highschool to do ministry. trying to get outside my comfort zone and talk to highschool students is something that streches me more than i can imagine. most of these kids i probably couldn't relate to at all. i couldn't tell you how many kids i saw, but i knew each one needed what i had i just didn't know how to give it to them. another reminder to trust no matter what happens. we get done with that and get home and are told we don't have the night off but we have to go get in formal dress and meet at the church at seven thirty. and here is the most beautiful part of my day. the men of 247 put together a dinner and entertainment for us for valentines day. (side note: all sugar/sweets free) they served us and provided humorous and searious entertainment. through it all i could hear god reminding me how precious i am to him and how much he has planned for me. all i have to do is trust and release control. be anxious for nothing and to not worry about tomorrow or any part of the future. leave it all in his hands. be reminded daily of the gift god has given you.

here are a few pictures from the dinner...

Soaring in the sky

so have you ever just been outside and looking up in the sky and see a bird soaring? i was going on my run yesterday and i saw a hawk just floating and going with the wind. not once flapping it's wings just being completely lifted by the air. i got to thinking about this and it made me realize that's exactly what god wants us to do. just jump out of the nest we grew up in and let him keep us flying he will give us exactly what we need. he will direct the wind to take us where he wants us to go. if we want to go one way and its not what god wants he can just change the wind and take you where you want. you just have to remember that god will hold us up, we don't have to be the ones flapping our wings. god has control, if you'll let him. so be willing to be tossed and turned in the wind and let god have control of your life, he'll take you exactly where he wants you to go.

xoxo =] love

the experience of a lifetime...

Mexico is incredible. people places and things i saw these last three weeks keep flashing through my brain. i'm not even able to express how much i enjoyed mexico and the things i learned. being in a different team is the first adjustment you have to make, new people, new personalities you have to mesh with, new jokes, everything seems different, but you learn to connect with one another if you don't you have the longest three weeks of your life. now i'm trying to decide if i want to explain the trip every second of everyday or just tell you the big things god has shown me throughout the last three weeks. and considering its almost 11 and i still have to memorize scripture memory i'll go with the second. the two main things i learned while in mexico were -one i have no control over my life i'm one hundred percent god's! -two i am not the one who determines if my life is great or not.
now to explain... i've been going back and forth with god for the last how many years just asking him to tell me where he wants me to go and what he wants me to do. i don't care what or where i just want to know so i can prepare myself for whatever he has planned for me. but throughout this trip i could really see how god doesn't want exceptions he just wants the willing no strings attached. i don't know if that makes sense to you but to me it's becoming clearer and clearer everyday! i don't need to know where or what i'll be doing because god will prepare me the way he wants when he wants i'm clay and he's the potter let him create his master piece.
as for the second thing god showed me its simple really. god determines if your life is great or not i can't. i used to think my little town was nothing special there is nothing GREAT going on there,, well not in my eyes, but to god he has called every single pastor and family in my home church for a reason he has a GREAT calling there i just never saw it that way before. just like every small little church in the mountains in the middle of nowhere mexico has a purpose and a GREAT calling on it. maybe i'm making sense maybe i'm not but either way god has reveal a ton to me in just three weeks. so in a nutshell god is awesome and i'm just human. so hopefully this shows you a glimpse of my heart from the past three weeks there is so much more to be shared.

much love moni
here's a few pics from the trip -

three weeks and it feels like christmas was yesterday

Where do i even begin? i've felt so overwhelmed and rushed lately that i don't know what has even happened to me in the past three weeks. lets start with break... friday the 19th of december we had our 24/7 christmas banquet, which as loads of fun all the girls looks dazziling and the guys sharp as can be. when i got home from that i packed up my room getting ready for the re-serfacing the floors in our house. i left for wisconsin at 6am on saturday morning let me just say that drive was intense at the beginning me and melissa were both falling asleep basically while we were driving so we had to switch a little sooner than usual. then we had to check oil, good thing we did cause we were almost out and i guess that's like a bad thing or something.. at one point while i was a sleep it starting raining at as we got closer to home it started to snow!!! i was so excited to see snow, it just felt so good to be home again. and of course we get to about 10minutes away from my house and we go in the ditch, lets just say never a dull moment in my life. the rest of the break was pretty chill i tried to play in the snow as much as i could but it was pretty cold alot, i just hung out at home alot helped babysit cute babies and visit with friends that i hate being away from so bad.

anyways. as those two weeks flew by, i enjoyed them so much and hated them at the same time, that doesn't even make sense, but to me its completely clear. i loved being home and relaxing but at the same time i felt worthless not doing anything and just trying to not fall into old habits but as you're home its so difficult unless you're completely disciplined to god and his call on you're life. and so going from being trapped in old habits and coming back into the atmosphere of 24/7 it was a huge struggle for me. especially since i was so nervous and overwhelmed with the week of getting ready to go to mexico.

mexico is just around the corner. we leave on monday! im so excited about what God has been revealing to me now that its making it very difficult for me to wait to see what he will teach me in mexico. this whole week i've been hearing him tell me complete abandonment and holding nothing back, give it everything you got. yesterday during chapel i started reading ephesians 4 -here's what it says...
"as a prisoner for the Lord, then, i urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have recieved. be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. there is one body and one Spirit- just as you were called to one hope when you were called- one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. but to each of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it..."
..God is so awesome in his timing. i've been dealing with alot of mixed emotions excited one moment and the next scared out of my mind. but he works all things out for his glory. as a team we discussed how we wanted to be lead by the spirit, no matter what the cost we would go and do what the lord has told us to. we also said unity in the spirit being one with one another showing love and patience in every situation. this scripture talks about all those things! i am so excited to see what God will do in each and every one of our lives while we are in mexico expanding his kingdom in every possible way we can!
please be praying for me and my team as well as all of 24/7 god has a plan that none of us can even imagine right now.
i love you! i am unable to wait to talk to you all when i get back!! xoxo-

Christmas is on it's way...

Christmas is on it's way but it seems so far away... i can't believe its already december 14, i feel like i'm still in october. it must be the fact that its not absolutely freezing outside with feet after feet of snow on the ground. i can't wait to go home! the smells of hot chocolate, watching its a wonderful life, playing hand and foot with the family while listening to trans-siberian orchestra, the decorations, along with the icicle lights hanging from our white house with perfectly a shoveled sidewalk and driveway. ha i can picture my dad right now outside making sure that there is no snow or ice out there or at least as best as he can get it, aww i miss helping him after about 2months of constant shoveling it gets a little old but the beauty of snow is what makes christmas christmas to me in a way.. my favorite is when you wake up christmas morning look out the window and see the untouched snow that had fallen the night before. God's creation melts me everytime i take time to stop and look around...

friday night was probably the most i was reminded of christmas this year. decorating setting up for a christmas party, dressing up like who's and elves reindeer and christmas hats, christmas music, fake snow it was so much fun!